I forgot I had this. I wrote this awhile experiencing ego death on mushrooms. It was not a pleasant ego death experience but rather was more like ego destruction. This trip was one of the worst psychedelic trips I’ve had but nonetheless I learned a lot from it.
Here it is:
“I dont know. Im having some difficulty in being. for a moment it was there, but then it becomes lost. I feel like the illusions themselves are so illusionary that they have illusions. Even these words seem so fragmented and bizarre. My issue is breaking free of these paradoxes and simply existing. All I am right now is a paradox, an endless hall of mirrors.”
Also here is a drawing that reflects a later part of the trip.
The Schizophrenic. Fragmented reality with the underlying compulsion towards unity and sense. Also attempted alteration of that fragmentation through forced constructs. In all directions there’s imposition even invasion. Disconnection to the degree of alienation and terror. The fragmentation of the self. Hell.